


The True Tale of Naruto Uzumaki

by BelletristWordSalad



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canonical Alternate Universe, Multi, because Kishimoto missed so many opportunities, because there is an alternative, pilotverse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-02-21 04:58:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2455619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelletristWordSalad/pseuds/BelletristWordSalad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Naruto Uzumaki of Konoha has become a walking shadow, a poor player who frets and struts on the manga page, his growth stunted in a tale told by an idiot that has become all sound and fury, signifying nothing. But what of the Naruto Uzumaki of Mount Oinari, whose potential is greatly unmined? </p><p>[Post <a href="http://narutobase.net/manga/Naruto/0/">pilot chapter</a>, canon and sub-canon elements, all pairing types possible]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Dangerous Pastime

Song: “[Llorona](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atpvziBpbUA)” — DeVotchKa (Little Miss Sunshine version)

-:-

_Playing God much, Lord Yondaime*?_

Such was the wry thought going through the mind of one Kakashi Hatake, a lean scarecrow of a man with a silvery shock of hair and a mask that left the lower half of his face to the imaginations of most, as he sauntered through the streets of Mount Oinari, his (signed!) copy of Icha Icha’s latest continuation in hand. It was one of his many uncanny traits that fascinated villagers from all walks of life; he could stick his nose in a _hentai_ saga while meandering in his easy manner, unheeding of anyone or anything, and not bump into some random object or fall into certain foxholes. Whenever anyone inquired of it, he would say, a smile in his visible eye, “Years of practice.”

But on this particular day, that easy manner and that practiced gait of Kakashi’s was more like his namesake, rigid. It was that time of year again, rife with harvesting metaphors in a place like the Land of Rice†. The Academy had graduated yet another batch of would-be ninja, and it was up to hardened old veterans like himself and other Mount Oinari jōnin to pan out the diamonds from the rough. Usually, the teams he was assigned were nothing to think about, and thus he would shrug them off, giving them no more thought ‘til their inevitable failure. However, the students he was assigned this year _did_ give him something to think about.

Sakura Haruno. Her appearance alone made her stand out—pink hair, green eyes—as did the fact that she had the best chakra control and textbook knowledge of her class. She was also one of the numerous Keshinriki‡ residing in Mount Oinari, hosting Saiken the Six-Tailed Slug. With the right training, this girl could be a battle-axe in the best sense of the word.

Sasuke Uchiha. This one held a special place in the Copy Nin’s heart. A scion of the great corvine clan, Sasuke already showed great promise. While not as book smart as Sakura, Sasuke was well above the average genin in technical know-how, in addition to which he would be a true wild card thanks to his Sharingan. And like Sakura, he too was a Keshinriki, hosting Akanō the One-Headed§ Raijū. If he was anything like Itachi, he would be a true monster in battle. And also like Itachi, Sasuke was like a nephew to Kakashi if not a son. Even a jaded shinobi like himself couldn’t forget that.

Naruto Uzumaki. Therein lay the rub. The former ward of the Fourth Village Head, the boy was, quite frankly, a little shit. Over the years, the young tod had shown no interest in bonding with anyone even of his own generation—something that Sasuke himself had discovered firsthand—or even a care as to his reputation, as shown by his myriad shenanigans; pratfalls, grotesque transformations, graffiti, everything out of the prankster’s playbook. He was truly a fox playing a fox, and such play had but worsened the infamy already surrounding him and his lineage. 

His father, the Fifth Village Head, had brought Mount Oinari to near annihilation, taking the lives of many a villager. Add the fact that Naruto was the spitting image of his sire—blue-eyed and blonde—and you had an atmosphere as charged as a Raikiri just before it struck. More than that, Minato Namikaze had been Kakashi’s own sensei, slowly and subtly becoming a father figure to replace he who had killed himself. It had devastated the scarred Jōnin when Minato showed his true colors, perhaps even more than waking up to find Sakumo lying in his own suicidal blood; he’d even had to take some time off to come to terms with everything concerning his sensei.

The Yondaime had said that him being the Godaime’s student was all the more reason to make him Naruto’s sensei—who better to ensure the boy didn’t become his father than someone who knew the man personally? “And besides, I’m sure you’ll be able to connect with him, for you had an attitude much like his when you were his age.” The Copy Nin had to admit, the Fourth had him there. True, he hadn’t spray-painted _Fuck you, bitches!_ or reenacted Godzilla, but he had had that same stubborn refusal to build any more bonds.

In his case, however, it had taken certain tragic events of the Third Shinobi World War to make him see that trust and teamwork were essential in missions, especially in situations where lives were at stake. So, could Naruto, a boy who had yet to see carnage and who had always been out for himself, really have seen the light under less morbid circumstances?

And really, who was to say that this wasn’t some divine comedy to the God of Shinobi, placing the Godaime’s son with the Godaime’s student? Truly, a God playing God while raising a fox playing a fox.

So much play, so many questions, so much to think about.

One thing for sure: he _definitely_ would not be able to focus on those Icha-Icha horndogs or get it up for a certain green thumb tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * **Fourth Village Head:** Yes, our boy Hiruzen won't be the Third this time 'round. Why? Because when I saw the [markings his pilot self bore](http://narutobase.net/manga/Naruto/0/4/), I thought what if those markings were the way Mount Oinari's village leaders had themselves enumerated? So the Fourth Hiruzen will be, instead of Minato, who will be the Fifth. So, who will the Third be, you ask? You'll just have to wait and see
> 
> † ~~ **Land of Jade:** [玉の国] since the Naruto Uzumaki of the pilot chapter hails from Mount Oinari as opposed to Konohagakure, t'is only fitting that he hails from a different country as well. So why Jade? It turns out that the kanji for "jade" [玉], when affixed by the honorific dono [殿], can mean an alias for a fox, after a fox statue from the Inarimae Shrine in Tsukuba. And considering the vulpine imagery already present in the pilot (the name of Oinari, the possible fox statues in the Chief's office), as well as the obviously arid terrain, I cannot think of a more fitting locale for pilot!Naruto to hail from.~~ Decided to change Mount Oinari's country to the [Land of Rice Fields](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Land_of_Sound), since not only is it more apropos to the rice god; I want to use the Land of Jade and its founders in a more original work 
> 
> ‡ **Keshinriki:** My pilotverse equivalent of jinchūriki. "Keshinriki" means "power of an avatar", and since Beast vessels will have demon as well as human, I felt that "power of human sacrifice" wouldn't be apt.
> 
> § **Headed Beasts:** some of the missed opportunities I was talking about ;)
> 
> Kakashi Hatake's VA: Hugh Laurie (House)
> 
> Mount Oinari, the Land of Rice Fields © Masashi Kishimoto  
> Hiruzen Sarutobi = Fourth Village Head, Minato Namikaze = Fifth Village Head and attacking nine-tailed fox, the Land of Rice Fields = Mount Oinari's country, Akanō © me


	2. A Beautiful Friendship?

Song: “[Carmen Suite #2: Habañera](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tmVAEaj9z8)” — Trainspotting Soundtrack

-:-

The summer break for Academy grads had finally ended and after photos and registration, it was time for those same alumni to be placed into three-man teams under the tutelage of a Jōnin sensei. With such placement, it was crucial that not only could the sensei in question trust the Genin to follow his instruction and learn the shinobi arts, but that said Genin could trust and be trusted by his peers.

Why that didn’t hit him until just then, Naruto didn’t know, though it did explain Ol’ Chief’s admission that he’d expected him to return to the mountains with someone his own age. God really was in the details, wasn’t he? Nonetheless, he had accomplished the task the old geezer had given him: proving that he could trust and be trusted by a human. A small step, but one that he and the wizened leader agreed had changed his life for the better.

Now, he just had to prove his trustworthiness to his peers and sensei. Already, Naruto knew his work was cut out for him. Unlike Kuroda, who had only recently met him, the shinobi populace had known him for years, were more familiar with his past mischief, so it would take a little more effort to overcome those prejudices. 

But he could do it. He was sure of it.

Eventually, Academy sensei Iruka Umino, a gentle-faced chūnin with ponytailed brown hair and a scar across his nose, entered, effectively halting the chatter that had permeated the classroom. For a moment, he glanced around the room, surveying the graduates with a degree of fondness before landing on Naruto, his gaze and smile dimming ever so slightly. 

The blonde couldn’t blame him. Looking back, he’d truly been a little shit to the man, constantly mouthing off, bullying his classmates, and the occasional hooky-playing. Probably his only saving grace was that he’d passed his tests and mastered jutsu basics, something that had driven sensei itching to fail him crazy. Even now, he enjoyed rubbing in those sensei’s faces that contrary to popular belief, he was a swine who retained some pearls of wisdom. Still, that didn’t change the fact that the young tod now felt a pang of regret for not treating Iruka better. _Mental note: find some way to make it up to him._

After a spiel about how they were all adults now, that their greatest challenges lay ahead, and all that jazz, Iruka finally got to the part that everyone waited for with bated breath: their team placement. The first six teams Naruto quickly forgot about; neither he nor anyone significant was in them.

“Team 7 will consist of: Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha.” 

Well. _They_ were significant.

Sakura Haruno had caught Naruto’s attention the moment his Academy enrollment began. From her scent, she was obviously human, but her namesake-pink hair smacked of demonic ancestry. That hair, complemented by her jade-green eyes, made her more unique than the other Academy girls, and for that, he gave her props. 

But that didn’t change the fact that Naruto was a typical boy. Whenever Sakura demonstrated perfect chakra control or recited the correct Shinobi Rule, the fox would feel a deep sense of emasculation. How could a _girl_ —and a _human_ one at that!—beat him?! Naturally, he challenged her in hopes of regaining some modicum of manliness. That was when he learned that in addition to memorization and chakra control, Sakura packed one hell of a punch. So much for manliness…

Sasuke Uchiha had caught Naruto’s attention as well, but for different reasons. From the sight and scent of him, he was a raven demon, and that creeped Naruto out something fierce. An all-black creature that cawed and ate dead things? Scary! Especially when it could breathe fire, had freaky eyes that went all red and copied your every move, and always gave you that constant feeling of being watched…

But more than that, Naruto was jealous of Sasuke. Not only was the Uchiha a blueblood with a Bloodline Ability, but he had a family to go home to. A mother, a father, an older brother. Naruto, on the other hand, had been an only child, his father had been a villain, and Inari knew where his mother was…

The young tod took a deep breath after Iruka-sensei dismissed the teams for lunch. Time to let bygones be bygones. 

Once the graduates had milled out of the room, Naruto turned to where Sakura and Sasuke were sitting—in the pew behind his, as it turned out. Locking their wary stares with his, the blond kitsune tried to think of the best thing to say. Hard-pressed to think of anything that wouldn't ring hollow, he decided the direct approach would be best.

"Guys...I know you two aren't exactly fond of me, and believe me, I can understand why. I was a douche, plain and simple. But, after what I've been through this summer, that's over now, and I promise that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this team thing work. So, what do you say we bury the kunai?"

Sakura’s brows furrowed. One of Sasuke’s arched. Tense silence followed. Then, the pink-haired girl’s brows eased before one arched, the light in her eyes almost as impish as his own could be. “Well, you certainly look less like a douche.” 

Naruto chuckled, scratching the back of his head. It was true; he’d decided to change his wardrobe from that obnoxious orange-and-blue jumpsuit to something he thought looked cooler: a black jumpsuit with his trademark swirl emblazoned on the back and shoulders and orange racing stripes down the sleeves and pants. The old man had even said that if nothing else, it was less of an occupational hazard.

“How ‘bout this, Naruto: we’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, but! We’ll also have an understanding that if you try anything funny, Sasuke-kun and I will kick your ass from here to Inaho*. Savvy?”

Naruto extended his hand in a gesture that he was becoming more and more comfortable with. "Savvy." As he and Sakura shook hands—with the pink-haired girl nearly breaking his hand—he was sure he heard a snicker from the normally reticent Uchiha.

Afterwards, the blond fox sat down to a quiet, relatively uneventful lunch with his would-be teammates. All things considered, he would take it. Sure, Sakura and Sasuke didn’t exactly welcome him with open arms, but it’d still gone better than when he met Kuroda. 

Besides, the Fushimi Inari Shrine† wasn’t built in a day!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Man, was this a tough one! But, I finally settled on the tweaks I wanted for Sakura and Sasuke's characterizations and their first interaction with Naruto in this story being strained but not hostile. So, voilà! 
> 
> * **[Inaho](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Inaho_Village):** a village mentioned in the OVA  Naruto: The Crossroads, this will double as the suburbia where Naruto met Kuroda and Takashi AND as the equivalent of the Land of Fire's Tanzaku district
> 
> † **Fushimi Inari Shrine:** just as Fire had its Fire Temple, Jade will have an Inari shrine named after this foremost of Inari Shrines. The name of this shrine is especially fitting, seeing as its namesake is at the base of a Mount Inari, which isn't too far from "Oinari"...
> 
> Naruto Uzumaki's VA: Sam Riegel (Steve Burnside from Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles)  
> Sakura Haruno's VA: Luci Christian (Nami from One Piece)  
> Sasuke Uchiha's VA: Cathy Weseluck (Cybersix, or rather, her "Adrian Sidelman" disguise :D (Big Grin))
> 
> all characters, Inaho Village © Masashi Kishimoto  
> Fushimi Inari Shrine © me


	3. Stay of Execution

Song: “[End of Small Sanctuary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_e8abf_Tds)” — Silent Hill 3 soundtrack 

-:-

Naruto Uzumaki was a changed fox. That was the truth. But the more things change, the more they stay the same, and if there was one thing that had changed and stayed the same about Naruto, it was his impatience. He hated waiting for ramen—on the rare occasions when he _did_ get it—and he hated being kept waiting, especially by the sensei assigned his team. Honestly, how was he supposed to prove himself a better man while he and his teammates were stranded in some Inari-forsaken training field? 

“This is bullshit!” he ranted, kicking a stray pebble with more force than necessary. “For all we know, all the other teams are on missions with their sensei right now! So why is our sensei so fucking late?!” 

“For once, I agree with you, Naruto,” Sakura chimed in. “Shinobi Rule #50 states: A shinobi must always be on time. I mean, really, how reliable a shinobi is this guy if he can’t even be on time?” The strawberry blonde wasn’t just saying this; she had personally memorized all one hundred Shinobi Rules and scored perfectly on every exam—even higher than Sasuke-kun! Surely this Kakashi guy, being a _jōnin_ , had had the same rules drilled into him as she and her classmates! What gave him the right to cherry-pick those rules?

Sasuke sighed. If Kakashi’s lateness was going to drive Naruto this crazy… And while he knew that his fellow Keshinriki meant well, he wanted to cuff Sakura upside the head with one of his clan’s namesakes right now. He knew the story behind Kakashi’s apparent disregard for punctuality—a very tragic one, one that involved a kinsman he would never get to meet, and one that even the curmudgeonly thunder wolf within him respected. Thus, to hear such prattle about punctuality irked him so. But he restrained himself. “Guys, I’ve known Kakashi for as long as I can remember and my clan has known him since before I was born. So I should tell you right now that he plays by his own rules and that punctuality isn’t his thing.”

“Please, Sasuke. My ears are burning.” 

Naruto and Sakura yelped in surprise, the former landing in an unceremonious pratfall. Sasuke, on the other hand, barely batted an eyelash as he gave his adopted kinsman the fisheye. Such fashionable lateness was par for the course with Kakashi Hatake. Startlement would be superfluous at this point.

Unfazed even by Sasuke’s flat stare, the silvery-haired _jōnin_ sauntered to the front of the trio, ruffling the Uchiha’s hair as he passed and snapping his little orange book shut.

“Now. Since Pinky and the Blonde here are asking themselves ‘who is that masked man?’, I’ll sate their curiosity. My name is Kakashi Hatake. There are lots of things I like, not much I dislike. As far as goals…well, I’ve never been one to ask for much.” 

Naruto and Sakura gave each other flat looks. Unpunctual _and_ vague? What the hell? They turned to Sasuke, whose expression clearly said, _Told ya_.

“Now it’s you three’s turn to extend the same courtesy. Who will start us off?”

Ever the teacher’s pet, Sakura shot her hand up. “My name is Sakura Haruno. I like learning new things, especially ninja-related. I hate not being taken seriously because of my pink hair. My hobbies are studying and playing trivia games. And my goal is to do my name proud.” Yes. Like the cherry blossom, Sakura would be the perfect embodiment of beauty and strength. With or without Sasuke. _Shannaro_!

Pert little thing, wasn’t she? Kakashi could certainly see how she had become the apple of the sensei’s eye, the jade in their hands*. Kind of a know-it-all, though… At least she wasn’t Sasuke-crazy. That was a major plus.

Speaking of which…“Your turn, Sparky.”

Pointedly ignoring the snickers from the other two, Sasuke gave his adopted kinsman a miffed look before he spoke. “My name is Sasuke Uchiha. I like training, especially with my older brother. I dislike fangirls.” (Here, Sakura gave a nervous laugh.) “My goal is to one day join the Shinobi Police Force.”

Of course. 

“Now it’s your turn, Blondie.” Yes. What would Naruto Uzumaki, the boy who was nothing but trouble, the boy who was only out for himself, have to say for himself? 

“My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen. My hobby used to be pranking, but…that might change. My goal…” Naruto paused. He’d never really had a goal, unless you counted his training journey to Inaho, and he already accomplished that. What could he aspire for, then? Being the next Village Head? Hah! He was too free-spirited for that! After some thought, however, he realized that another goal, one simpler yet profound, had been right in front of him all along. “My goal is to show everyone in Mount Oinari that I can be a reliable person. That even a guy like me can change.”

Kakashi’s visible eye widened ever so slightly as he considered the _kitsune_ ’s words. Maybe the Fourth was right. Maybe there was hope for Naruto yet. But how serious was the son of Minato Namikaze about being a changed fox?

He would find out.

“Well. Now that that’s over with, I’ll cast this little pearl of wisdom your way: you may have graduated from the Academy and gotten your forehead protectors, but in reality, none of you are true Genin yet.”

Naruto and Sakura couldn’t believe it. Just…fucking wha…?! Sasuke’s gaze hardened.

Kakashi continued before they could protest. “Those graduation exams were for testing your Genin _potential_. Now it’s up to Jōnin like myself to separate the rice from the chaff.”

“What happens if we’re ‘chaff’?” Sakura asked warily.

“In that case…” Kakashi paused, drawing out the silence. “…you’ll be sent back to the Academy. Back at square one.”

_Square one…?_

-:-

“Now, what is it that you would invite me to lunch?”

“I wanted to ask about the sensei assigned Naruto’s team. Is he kind? Is he strict?”

The one Hiruzen Sarutobi was conversing with was Iruka Umino, one of the few who held a special place in the Yondaime Village Head's heart. In many ways, Iruka reminded him of Naruto. Both could certainly speak their minds, both had been orphaned, both had acted out as a front. Maybe that was why Iruka always persisted with Naruto where other sensei gave up, and why he was asking about him now, even after Naruto ceased being his responsibility: he saw himself in that mischievous little fox.

Inwardly, that touched the Sarutobi’s jaded heart, and thus he decided to sate the scarred _chūnin_ ’s curiosity.

“Kakashi Hatake, you mean? Here’s a record of all his past teams.”

When he examined the dossier handed to him, the _chūnin_ ’s scarred face blanched. _This… this is…!_

The Yondaime took another sip of his green tea as if not noticing the man’s reaction. “Kakashi’s test may be a little difficult, seeing as children can be so obedient…” _Even Naruto, rare as that can be…_

“Yeah, but…but these are all failures!” 

“Yes. Kakashi’s not passed one team since becoming a sensei.”

“And you put _Naruto_ on his team?!”

“Yes,” the Yondaime replied, his tone a subtle reprimand at the chūnin’s outburst. “It’ll be a good opportunity for the two of them. For Naruto, to prove to a shinobi besides myself that he has changed.” 

He took another sip of his tea. 

“And for Kakashi, making sure that history doesn’t repeat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * **Jade in their hands:** Literal translation of shōchūnotama [掌中の玉], the Japanese apple of one’s eye.
> 
> all characters, Mount Oinari, Inaho Village © Masashi Kishimoto  
> Hiruzen = Fourth Village Head © me


	4. For an Impossible Cause

Song: “[Promise](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qalGezr76o)” — Silent Hill 2 soundtrack

-:-

In his Animal form, Sasuke Uchiha took to the skies, narrowly avoiding Kakashi’s counterattack. Damn! and he was so close, too!

For their “true Genin test”, his adopted kinsman had dispersed him and his teammates with the objective of grabbing either of the two bells on the jōnin’s person before day’s end. Whoever didn’t get the bell would be sent back to the Academy. _Have fun!_ So far, Sasuke had had the most success; Sakura had just gotten hit with a genjutsu, and Naruto’s traps had backfired, eliciting some colorful curses from the _kitsune_ (“You’ll never get anywhere with that language, Naruto, especially not if you involve your mother”). 

Finding a suitable ledge, the Uchiha returned to his Human form, Copy and mental wheels spinning. It just didn’t make sense. Why one bell short? Why claim that one of them would be sent back to the Academy anyway? Was he toying with them? Knowing Kakashi, probably. That was the living scarecrow’s way. _Wait a minute…_ his mind flickered to a piece of shinobi wisdom that his adopted kinsman was wont to quote: look underneath the underneath. 

Once it clicked, the Uchiha resumed his Animal form and flew off to find his teammates. 

-:-

From behind the spire, Sakura Haruno, kunai at the ready, crept towards the silvery-haired man. With the way his forehead protector was tilted, he should be blind on his left. All she’d have to do is blindside him, take a bell, and get away before he could counterattack. Should be a cakewalk, even without Saiken’s power, since the man was reading that stupid book!

Closer and closer she crept, until a bell was within her reach. _Gotcha now, sensei!_ But just as Sakura reached for a bell, the man rounded—“Close, but not close enough…!”—and formed a hand sign.

Blackout. 

When the pink-haired girl awoke, a sense of dread seeped in as she took in her surroundings. Pews, a pencil, a chalkboard… _No. NO!_ If she was back in Iruka-sensei’s classroom, that could only mean…

“Well, well, well.”

Oh Inari. _That_ voice…

Sure enough, there stood the former bane of Sakura’s existence: Ami Kurozuka*, flanked by her cronies Kasumi Uji and Fuki Rokujō. Sakura had had the last laugh over these three stoogettes when she had graduated and they had not—served them right for making fun of her forehead! But now…

“Looks like you couldn’t get through your window of opportunity with that bigass dome of yours. Now your billboard will be our chalkboard!” With the threefold cackle of secret, black, and midnight hags, the trio of mean girls gave Sakura’s forehead a great poke.

The pink-haired girl’s cry of pain and annoyance became one of jolted discombobulation as she found herself surrounded not by classroom apparatus, but by Mother Nature’s décor and a certain Uchiha with his hand in an “undo” sign.

Sakura slammed her fist into the ground. “Dammit! I can’t believe Sensei got me with that!” She was supposed to be better than that…!

“Never mind that. I think I know what we need to do. But first, we gotta find Naruto.”

-:- 

Dangling upside-down from his latest backfired trap, Naruto Uzumaki stewed, trying to come up with his next ingenious ambush. Clearly, this Kakashi guy gave more fucks than he let on. Even while reading that damn book, he’d managed to avoid every pitfall, every tripwire, and every net thrown at him…while backfiring them at his would-be trapper.

Getting nowhere with the blood rushing to his head, the _kitsune_ cut himself down with a deft swipe of his kunai. Before he could get far from the tree, however, someone clapped a hand over his mouth and yanked him away from behind. Naruto flailed out of the hold and raised his kunai to attack, only for a strong hand to grip his wrist. 

“Relax, Naruto. It’s just us.”

Somewhat relieved at the sight of his teammates, Naruto huffed, snatching his wrist out of Sasuke’s grip. “Didja have to be so rough?”

“Best I could think of at the time. Now listen: as I was telling Sakura, I think I know what we need to do about this little test.”

“Well, I’m open to suggestions.”

“We have to work together.” 

Naruto and Sakura’s faces became confused moues. 

“‘Work together’? But Sasuke-kun, Sensei said this was a test of our skills! We have to do this individually!”

“And look how _that’s_ turning out. But if we pool our resources together, we might have a chance.” At the other two’s disbelief, the Uchiha knew he’d better go out on a limb. “Also…I think he wanted us to figure that out, that teamwork is the key.”

“What do you mean?”

“If there’s one thing I know for sure about Kakashi, it’s that he frowns on those who think only of themselves. He…he’s told me that he did that on a mission once. And it cost him dearly…” There was more to this story, but Sasuke felt that it wasn’t his place to say anything. That was Kakashi’s story, not his.

“And what about the ‘two bells’ thing? How does _that_ help our teamwork?”

“That was probably his way of seeing how long before we’d be willing to help each other out. In light of that, I think he was just bluffing about one of us being sent back to the Academy.”

“You _think_. But what if he wasn’t?”

The three of them sat in thought for a while. Irritated as he was that Sakura just couldn’t seem to think outside the box right now, Sasuke had to admit that she had a point; it _was_ Kakashi. Who knew what else that brainy scarecrow had up his sleeve?

Eventually, Naruto broke the silence. “You guys go for the bells.”

“What?”

“You guys go for the bells. I’ll distract Kakashi-sensei and you guys go in once you see an opening. If Sasuke’s right about Sensei, that should be enough for all of us to pass. And if it’s not, well…you guys deserve to pass more than me.” Naruto couldn’t believe it. Had he really just said that? And why did it feel good to say that?

Now it was Sasuke’s turn to show disbelief. Naruto? Deciding to trust him? Yes, the Uchiha was glad, for reasons both pertinent and personal, but where did this come from?

Disbelief proved unanimous with Sakura as well. Was this really Naruto? “You’d do that for us?”

Naruto smiled ruefully. One paw print at a time… “Don’t you remember what I said before, Sakura? I want to prove to everyone in this village that I can be reliable too. And how can I do that if I’m not willing to take my chances?” He suddenly thought of Takashi Takano, of the one chance he didn’t take, of how he promised himself that he’d never make that mistake again.

“Besides,” he continued, a foxy grin evaporating his remaining doubts, “this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve fought for an impossible cause.”

And as Inari was his witness, it wouldn’t be his last.

Unbeknownst to any of the preteens, a certain masked man was listening behind one of the spires. And he liked what he heard.

-:-

Yamato sat in bed, architecture magazine in hand. Its subscription had been a birthday present from his sempai, and today, the Wood user was reading an article about gargoyles, a topic he found quite apropos considering with whom he shared his bed. It was interesting, really, what people speculated about his sempai’s face. Buck teeth, fish lips, _kuchisake_ † smile… Yamato had heard it all, and he could have laughed. 

_He_ knew what lay behind the mask, and it was no gargoyle…

The sound of a door opening and closing brought the Anbu out of his reverie, but he didn’t have to look up to know that it was his sempai, nose deep in Icha Icha.

“I take it we’ll be working together for another year?” It was that time of year again, when Kakashi would dash the dreams of yet another trio of _genin_ -hopefuls. In all honesty, Yamato wondered why his sempai even kept applying to be a sensei if he just kept failing one team after another. But hey, no bark off his tree…

“Actually, Yamato-chan, it’ll be quite some time before we can be a dynamic duo again.”

“How’s that?” Yamato asked, refusing to rise to Kakashi’s baiting.

“I’ll be busy with my new students.” 

That finally got the Wood user to look up from his book and over at his sempai, who still had his nose in his own book as if nothing unheard of had just been announced. 

Seeing the Copy Nin remain unflinching, Yamato turned back to his magazine, turning the page. “Shall I be on the lookout for flying Yamanaka?” 

“Hahaha, how very droll of you. You could give your sempai a little more credit…”

“Even with Naruto on the team?”

Another turn of a page. “Would you believe me if I said that he’s managed to grow on me?”

Not in the mood for deep digging, Yamato decided to take Kakashi’s word for the time being. Still, he was curious as to how exactly the Yondaime’s ward had grown on his sempai…

The next hour or so passed in comfortable silence before the masked _jōnin_ shut his book softly and rolled over onto the Wood user, pushing down the other nin’s magazine and leaning in. He pulled down his mask, something he would only do for his _kōhai_ , before planting a kiss onto the other man’s lips. “Let’s make tonight count…Manaki‡.”

Never able to resist Kakashi’s charms for long, the once Manaki Taketori§ tossed aside his magazine and accepted his sempai’s embrace, more than willing to make everything count with the one who had brought him the most solid ground in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I decided to tweak a few things about how our heroes pass Kakashi's test, since I didn't want a complete rehash. I also wanted to make clear that Sasuke addressing Kakashi without a title is more out of familiarity than impertinence, because it always bothered me that their interactions were never more intimate than teacher and student despite Kakashi's possession of something exclusive to Sasuke's bloodline. 
> 
> Also, KakaYama FTW!
> 
> * **Kurozuka; Uji; Rokujō:** Since Ami and her cronies were never given surnames canonically, I gave them some based on famous wicked women. 
> 
> “[Kurozuka](http://yokai.com/kurozuka/)” references the area in Fukushima haunted by a witch who would lure travelers into her cave and murder them in their sleep. Originally, she was a nanny sent to obtain the liver of an unborn child to feed to the sickly daughter under her care. After a long and fruitless journey, she finally kills a lone pregnant woman…only to discover that the woman was the very daughter she was supposed to cure. Driven mad by remorse, she transforms into the Witch of the Black Mounds.
> 
> “Uji”, now known as the [Yodo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yodo_River) River, is mentioned in The Tale of Genji as having turned a scorned woman into a _[hashihime](http://yokai.com/hashihime/)_ , or “Bridge Princess”, after she prayed to the gods and, per their instructions, immersed herself in it for twenty-one days. This transformation would set the precedent for the cursing ritual of _[ushi no koku mairi](http://yokai.com/ushinokokumairi/)_ , “Shrine Visit at the Hour of the Ox”. 
> 
> “Rokujō” references [Lady Rokujō](http://yokai.com/rokujounomiyasundokoro/), a courtesan in The Tale of Genji who falls in love with the titular protagonist. Her resentment at her inability to be with him takes on a life of its own as an _ikiryō_ , or “living ghost”, who haunts Genji’s wife, Lady Aoi, to her death. That same resentment follows Lady Rokujō to her own death and she haunts Genji and his next wife, Murasaki, until Rokujō’s daughter finally puts her spirit to rest.
> 
> † **Kuchisake:** referencing the _[kuchisake-onna](http://yokai.com/kuchisakeonna/)_ , or Slit-Mouth Woman. I wouldn’t be surprised if shinobi have disfigured each other, especially women, similarly.
> 
> ‡ **Manaki:** my birth name for Yamato. Written as 真木, it means “[Yew Plum Pine](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Podocarpus_macrophyllus)”, which is valued for its termite- and water-resistant wood. When deconstructed, the kanji literally translate as “Genuine Wood”.
> 
> § **Taketori:** an [anime-exclusive clan](http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Taketori_Clan) mentioned around the Pain’s Invasion arc. Since the name means “Bamboo Cutter”, I thought it would be the perfect birth clan for our boy Yamato, as well as lend into his (and Hashirama Senju’s) Wood Release.
> 
> all characters © Masashi Kishimoto  
> Ami and her cronies’ surnames, Yamato’s birth name and former Taketori affiliation, story © me


End file.
